It's a shared sentiment among many Christians today that they feel spiritually adrift.
Despite participating in Bible studies, church activities, and ministry, they often sense a void in their relationship with God. A recent survey revealed that over 40% of practicing Christians feel they lack spiritual guidance and support. This shared struggle leads to spiritual inertia, separation,and emotional exhaustion. If you're feeling this way, know that you're not alone. Many others are on this journey with you.
In the first of our three-part series, we’ll explore spiritual direction, its significance in a Protestant context, and how to find the right guide.
Spiritual direction is a personal relationship in which one person helps guide another toward a better relationship with God. Unlike pastoral counseling or Bible teaching, which generally focus on a specific life problem or understanding of the scriptures, spiritual direction focuses on helping you become aware of God and God’s promptings in your life.
A spiritual director is not a therapist or a problem solver. Instead, they are a trained listener who provides a safe space for you to unpack your experiences with God, your challenges, your celebrations, and your questions. They guide you in prayerful conversation, helping you to discern where God may be leading and what you should do next. Their role is not to provide answers, but to help you ask the right questions that reveal where in your life and faith God is inviting you to grow, surrender, heal, and move. Spiritual direction thus becomes a sacred space of hearing and listening. They are there to help you listen for God's voice, not to replace it with their own. They won't make decisions for you, but they will guide you in your discernment process. Spiritual direction empowers you to make choices that align with your faith and values.
A spiritual director won’t try to give you the answer, but instead will listen and ask questions that reveal where in your life and faith God is inviting you to grow, surrender, heal, and move. Spiritual direction thus becomes a holy place of hearing and listening.
Although spiritual direction is very well-rooted in Catholic and Orthodox traditions, many are Protestants are increasingly adopting the practice. Today, many leaders and theologians from Protestant denominations see its value for long-term discipleship and spiritual vibrancy.
Group experiences and sermons are necessary, but people of faith also need someone who will sit alongside them individually, to listen, pray, and walk with them through spiritual deserts, times of change, and seasons of growth.
There are several benefits to spiritual direction:
These are all parallel to what many other discipleship programs aim for. However, spiritual direction has a personalized, relational component that is easy to overlook in group settings.
Some Protestants are hesitant to seek spiritual direction for various reasons:
1. The fear of being misled by a bad spiritual director
Will a spiritual director tell you what to do? No, that's not their role. A spiritual director is there to help you listen for God’s voice, not to replace it with their own. They won't make decisions for you, but they will guide you in your discernment process. Spiritual direction empowers you to make choices that align with your faith and values, putting you in the driver's seat of your spiritual journey. It's about you and your relationship with God; a spiritual director is there to support and guide you, not dictate your path.
2. A false sense of autonomy and independence
Is spiritual direction too mystical? Although it focuses on listening and meditation, it is deeply grounded in Scripture and prayer. Good spiritual direction doesn’t drive you away from Christ but toward Him. It's a practical and personal approach to deepening your relationship with God, not a mysterious or esoteric practice. You can rest assured that spiritual direction is a grounded and accessible resource for your spiritual journey.
3.The belief that this is just a “catholic practice.”
Spiritual direction is not reserved for clergy or only the most devout saints. It is for anyone who desires a closer relationship with God. It is a resource available to all Christians , regardless of their faith level or role in the church. It is a welcoming space for all who seek to live faithfully, ensuring that no one is excluded from the opportunity to deepen their spiritual journey.
Understanding these differences will help alleviate fears and help you be comfortable taking the first step toward engaging in spiritual direction.
You don’t have to be in crisis to pursue spiritual direction. In reality, many people start when life is more or less okay, but they have a desire to know God more deeply. If you’re on the fence, here are some signs you might be able to benefit from spiritual direction:
If any of this rings true, spiritual direction might be the right next step for you.
Once you've realized the importance of spiritual direction, you’re ready to begin the journey towards finding a spiritual director.
Clarify your goals.
Ask yourself:
Communicating your hopes to a potential director, will help you focus and center your time together.
Reflect on your preferences.
Think about whether you have preferences for:
Knowing your preferences and communicating them to a potential director can help you narrow and focus your search as you begin a direction relationship.
Pray for discernment.
Pray for God to direct you to someone who is a trustworthy, wise, and Spirit-led advisor. Spiritual direction is a ministry of deep, abiding relationship, so chemistry and fit matter. A director who is perfect for someone else might not be ideal for you, and that’s all right. Just be honest with yourself and trust the nudge of the Holy Spirit.
Here are a few places to start looking for a spiritual director:
Some trained directors can be found at seminaries, prayer and spiritual formation institutes, and even among Christian coaching networks. If you are part of a discipleship-based community, see if they offer individual spiritual direction in addition to group offerings.
Be prepared to contact more than one person. Some directors provide an initial exploratory consultation at no charge, which allows you to learn more about their style and determine whether you’re comfortable with them.
Your first session with a prospective spiritual director is generally light and focused on gathering information about each other. It’s an opportunity to ask about their background, philosophy, and values. You’ll also be able to express your hopes and expectations for your time together.
Don’t be too hard on yourself if it feels awkward initially—this relationship develops over time. A good director will make you feel comfortable, but they also understand if you need space or time to commit to regular meetings.
Here are some questions you may want to ask:
We’ll discuss these questions more in-depth in the second part of this series.
If you’re ready to take the next step and start looking for a director, you can browse the Exponent Group Marketplace to find a trusted spiritual director.
We've made finding a spiritual director easier. Visit the Marketplace and search our network of trusted providers to quickly find a director who is right for you.
